Considering everything Noam has been through in the past few weeks he has really been amazing! One thing is for sure that I now know that i didn't really prepare him enough for this Journey. In preparing him i mean that I didn't really talk to him about what where we were going. I didn't explain to him why or how, and most importantly I didn't ask him how he felt about it!
As I have discussed in earlier posts the institute has taught me the importance of mediation. Mediation through play and interaction. Today Noam had a so so day! To be totally honest so did I. By the time it came to 6.30pm he was so worked up and angry that I couldn't calm him down to put him to bed. I managed after 15 minutes to get him to lie down. I lay down next to him and patted his head! I began to talk to him like I never have before. It went a little something like this.
ME - "Noam I feel like you are angry, are you angry with Mummy?
NOAM -he looked me straight in the eye and said "NO".
ME 'Are you angry with Daddy?
NOAM - NO..
ME -Shuly?
NOAM - 'NO"
ME - Do you miss daddy? I do!
NOAM - NO (but I think he does)
ME -What about Shuly?
NOAM - NO!
ME - And Mika?
NOAM- NO! - 'play' -
ME -"Do you want to play with Mika?"
NOAM - YES, MUMMY, PLAY MIKA!
This may sound like a simple discussion especially for a 5 year old! For me and Noam I honestly believe this was the best discussion we have ever had!
He actually got his feelings out with the help of mediation.
Once I understood what he was feeling I was able to explain to him that Mika would also love to play with him and we will go home on a plane in two weeks and see everyone.
He went to sleep feeling calm and with a smile on his face! And so will I
I am going to sleep thanking EVERYONE for giving us this opportunity to learn. I am thanking EVERYONE for giving me my dream, although a simple one, I had a conversation with my son. THANK YOU!!!!
Shabbat Shalom
You are quite right Limor, often we decide and speak for our kids and forget to listen to them because we are so busy 'coping'. Every so often my boy just downs tools and digs in, till he gets himself heard - and I feel both foolish and proud (of him). You are doing a brilliant job of being the best Mum you know how and of blogging and sharing the experience.
ReplyDeleteElaine, If only I had realised 3 years ago how much I actually talk for him! we all have that foolish and very proud feeling. IT seem to come hand in hand with being a mother, especially a mother of a child with special needs. You are not alone with those thoughts. never mind, time to move forward. This blog has been my saviour. What a great way to no only share but also to let it all out! I was excited to see that you can actually print a blog into a book! something i plan to do and have to cherish for many years to come!
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