Saturday, September 29, 2012

Why would one turn to their own Blog for inspiration?

The answer is simple.... When you go off the rails look to past experience and ideas to get you back on track.

This morning has been all about finding hope  in past experiences!

Its kind of working... On the other hand I have no idea how to turn the clock back and get some

order back.

Just saying!!

Friday, April 27, 2012


Today marks the 1 year anniversary of our trip to Israel! WOW! What a year. On reflection, if you want true honesty, what a crap year (for me that is). I guess you could say as a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend I would personally say I have failed in may ways this year! I guess may people would argue that I was wrong! The beauty of opinion. Everyone has a different one.

I have really struggled in  feeling like I have failed Noam is so many ways.... There are so many things that I have promised myself I would do for him. I simply do not have the time to do them. Being a mother of three young children I have spent the last few months realising that in order for Noam to be successful our family needs to be successful.

It is true that everything we learnt in Israel was life changing. I gained a wealth of knowledge and understanding into the mind of my son. I came home understanding to some degree how to break down his frustrations and make the world a clearer place for him to explore develop and succeed in... Unfortunately all this doesn't give me a 'get out of jail' card. the therapy is ongoing the struggles and challenges evolve as fast as i can type...

Noam has grown so much in the past year.... His language had developed thanks to an amazing speech therapist. His concentration, compliance and general wellbeing has reached levels we never knew possible thanks to his fabulous OT and various natural therapists. But most of all thanks to Noam.

School has been a whirlwind of emotions. I never realised how hard the mainstream road would be. As I often walk through the school to pick up Noam I still feel a small sense of heart ace that comes with having a child with special needs in a mainstream school. But as I enter the class room to be shown his work book where Noam begins to read to me. Yes, READ TO ME! I forget the heart ace and am blow over with pride.

I wish the world would see Noam the way I did. Sometimes I feel like I underestimate him, judge him and loose faith in him. If I am being honest with myself I think these feelings stem from other peoples perceptions, ones which horrifically influence me for a flicker of a moment. We all have a lot to learn.

Someone asked me this week why I chose to put Noam in a mainstream school. Someone once said to me ' why a mainstream school? We have such a hard time helping our children with acceptance and belonging in an environment where they are more than often NOT. Why don't you just put him in a special school where he doesn't feel different'?'

This is the look I get on his face EVERY DAY when I pick him up from mainstream school. He is  slowly making friends (he has two buddies) He is developing speech rapidly. He is learning to read and write. He may be doing things a little slower than others, some things a little faster than others. He is doing them and he is HAPPY!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Honesty and reality v's the dream

Okay, lets be honest. If you are a parent of a child with special needs reading this you may relate to what i am about to say. If you are a parent of a 'typicaly' developing child you may have never really thought about what I am about to say.

Noam Started school last week! We made a decision to mainstream him full time. A dream come true! Dreams are something people usually have for years and years. This dream has been mine for six years now! This time last year I was not sure it the 'dream' would become a reality. It has.

Many people may believe that Noam should be in a special school.. previous comments that have come my way sound a little something like this. "I am happy for there to be kids like Noam in my child's class, as long as they are fully supported so they don't take anything away from my child' .....................
We are all selfish when it comes to our children and so we should be.
As i spent the holidays shopping for school uniforms, name tags, lunch boxes and the list is endless I didn't have the same excitement as many of my friends! Not only was i nervous and anxious, I was prettified and emotional. Like many others around me my baby, my first born son was starting prep at the local primary school. The only thing that set me apart from them was the fact that my son happens to have Down Syndrome.
I wont lie and say that the past six years haven't been challenging. There have been sad and hard times but most of all I have celebrated a life that to this day astounds me, makes me proud and challenges me in every amazing way possible!

I spent the later part of 2011 listening to people around choose schools and talk about the next transition in their child's life as this major event (which yes it is). The major concern for most seemed to be the schools demographic. Stories after stories of which school is closer to home, which one has more people they know. blah blah blah... I was agonising over special or mainstream school. Will my child be able to attend mainstream how much aid time they will be given, meetings before school started, chats to the and the list goes on and on and on! WIll my child be at school when i go to pick him up as he has a tendency to abscond?! Oh gee i think i could sit here all night and list off. What I do understand now is that life brings challenges and emotions to everyone! It's all 'relative'.

Three weeks in
It has been three weeks since school started. We have had our ups and downs. I have had my moments of 'this just isn't going to work' and WOW this kid can do this. I feel blessed to have the support of an amazing school and I have come to realise that I am not alone in my worrying. In Noam's school, there are three other children with Down Syndrome. It's hard to explain but walking through those gates and knowing I am truly not alone takes my life to a whole knew level.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I'm Back

It's been months since i have blogged! For many reasons it seems that I have not had the time, motivation nor desire to hit the blog spot! Something in the past few weeks has had me thinking to get started again. Something today has made me do it!

So many things have happened since coming home from Israel. The good the bad (and in fear of being tacky) the UGLY! I have so much i could write and say in retrospect,but  I wonder how much of it is worth repeating to an audience who simply weren't there....
I can't remember what I wrote in my last post so i hope I don't repeat things but here's a little about the months that have passed!

After a rough transition back into everyday life for all of us life started to settle a little around September. We started seeing these amazing changes in Noam..... I guess we will never know what influenced these changes but I would say a little bit of Israel and little bit of home, a little bit of love and A LOT of Noam! As the year came to an end i think the whole family had exhausted 2011. Grumpy, angry and tired seemed to be on top of the list. It was time to re group as a family. We have had a great holiday and now starts the next chapter!

I guess you could say the Noam had an average year at kinder this year... but all in all he did it and he is moving on! He starts mainstream school in approximately four weeks and believe it or not i am actually feeling a little excited... So stay tuned as Noam's life of WOW continues.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The update you have all been waiting for

Where to begin?

Well that last few days in Israel were like on of those emotion charts! full of every emotion possible! Happy and Sad were the two major ones! All the therapists and I got together for an official closing discussion. Their thoughts opinions and ways to continue. It was wonderful and teary. The last day was very hard for me. I was getting close to coming home (just had the weekend to get through)  and i was so excited but I had to say goodbye to the people that helped me and supported me. We had a little party for Noam and another little girl who also attended the institute from England! Noam gave everyone a flower and a big hug and really understood that he was heading home!

I had a meeting with the Rabbi Raffi Feurenstein... that was exciting, it gave me more motivation and hope for the future and the trip home!
The weekend was great and long! We were both anxious and ready to get home! Noam had some last minute fun with my family! Horse riding, swimming at the beach! Just beautiful!

Lucky for me i bumped into some friends of mum and dad's just before boarding the flight home! They flew all the way home with us and that was a blessing!!! great to have help and a familiar face!
Noam was great on the plane but by the last leg was full of energy! Good old Qantas and their amazing staff... lets just say, they all knew Noam by the end of the flight!

Melbourne Airpot walking through those doors and I got it!! the hugs I had been waiting so long for. Mika, Shuly, Naish and my Dad ( mum was in bed it was an early flight).

It's been two weeks now and things are starting to settle.. Noam had a hard start sleep wise but as the days went on he got better and better! It was so great to be home and even better to be able to share the experience finally with Naish and the rest of the family! What has been even better has been the changes they have seen! Noam has settled back into school and kinder and it will be interesting to see how those changes carry though....
I am back into running a household, being a mother, a wife a friend and a girl on a mission to find the support and therapies to keep this kid growing!
There are lots of exciting things coming up in the horizon and I promise to keep update happening through my blog!!  ( especially seeing as 130 people viewed it yesterday)

It wasn't really until I got home that I realised how much I had changed! Two weeks in and i am realising that some things you can't change, some things you have already changed, some things you don't want to change!

Saturday, June 11, 2011


We are home with still lots of stories to tell! I have promised many to keep this blog going so that I will do! just give me a few days to get my act together!

Both Noam and I were very excited to get home! kisses for everyone and non stop hugs!